Zhĭ

[beijingaccent9]

Title: Zhĭ
Pairing: xiuhan
Summary: Xiumin died, Minseok didn't.
A/N: written for xiuhan daily drabble challenge, prompt 68

Lu Han's heart tightens as he hears echoes of Minseok's voice reverberating in his room he used to visit. Time has come when food is seen as more than just what serve its purpose, but also a company; a thing he stuffs in his mouth to muffle the sobs that threaten to make sound.

He's been in a long pause. A halt. A lull.

He hears his manager shouting 'come out' in between consecutive knocks. He hears his friends pleading him nicely to come out, take a deep breath and look at the world still revolving even if things had changed. Everything is susceptible to change.

His lungs feel like exploding. Every time he inhales, his chest expands to the size of his broken soul; a soul broken beyond repair. His room that is once his safe haven betrays him at the last second. It is once the crib of their growing love, the witness to every sweet words that came out from his sweet-talking mouth. 

His palms are hurting, digging the skin with his long, uneven nails as he curls his fists into a ball. Though he likes physical pain more; it has a cure. Emotional pain has nothing but pain attached to it; pain that's meant to last for quite a long time.

He crumples the small paper in his hands, the letters barely readable. How many times has he read those words, he has lost count. The pillows are thrown mercilessly on the ground, just like how the sea of judging eyes pushed Minseok to the brink of death. 

Minseok is wonderful. Even in a different lifetime, he'd still choose him over everybody else. 



Lu Han comes out a few days later, meets with Minseok in a serene place though neither of them initiated to talk.

"How are you?" Minseok asks, trying to break the awkward silence enveloping the two of them.

"Good. I mean, not good." Lu Han scratches the back of his neck and looks down. "I honestly thought you'd die."

"Xiumin did." Minseok stares at Lu Han's eyes, the pair of eyes he'd always long to see, the pair that never judged him for who he is. "Minseok didn't."

The older grabs a hold of the younger's hand and places a folded paper on top of it. He smiles sadly and abruptly leaves, leaving Lu Han no time to react.



If you weren't everybody's Lu Han,
How nice would that be?